Mary, I am so deeply sorry. What a painful image to carry—and for all that you have endured. I don’t have pictures of my abuser; I don’t even know his name. He was a stranger welcomed into our home but not watched, and he stole my innocence when I was four. I remember cleaning myself up after the attempted rape of my small frame and walking out to find my mother reading a magazine. She never looked up. It was never acknowledged until years later, when I began the hard work of untangling it with a gifted counselor. Years of counseling and EMDR therapy have not erased the harm, and I will never see him face justice here on earth. For a long time I struggled to trust God because I didn’t feel protected. But as I faced the truth of my story, I began to see ways God had been near to me that I couldn’t recognize before. What was taken cannot be undone, yet I have entrusted justice to Him—and I am healing.
I don’t have answers for anyone else’s suffering, but I have found a place to set mine: in God’s hands. I still get angry, especially when I see others being harmed. And now I speak up. I report abuse. I help others find support and safety. If I see someone who feels unsafe—in church, in a store, anywhere—I make sure someone is aware. Silence once protected the wrong people; I refuse to let it do so again. In protecting others, I am reclaiming, piece by piece, what no one once did for me.
And I share this so you know you are not alone. Your pain matters. Your story matters. And healing, though slow and uneven, is possible.
Oh, Mary, how terrible to have experienced such abuse and neglect, especially at such a young age. My words feel empty, but I do grieve for you. May the Lord continue to use you in a way only someone who has suffered the way you have can. Only you can minister to that broken person who has suffered similarly, but not found the One who can heal and redeem, or the person who does know the Lord, but has not yet discovered the healing and restoring path. Hugs to you, dear soldier in Christ.
Thank you for sharing this, Mary. I’m so sorry that no one protected little you, and my heart is aching alongside of you and so many others who were harmed in this way for both justice and rescue ❤️🩹
Oh my heart goes out to you. Such grievous sins against you, against God. I wish/pray for Nathan’s who can teach the hearts that justify the sin. But I wish also for the hearts like David’s who will listen and repent.
I remember… the nudity that no one ever said was wrong. The perversion that was made acceptable. But somehow I knew not to bring this into the world… not one person stopped it, not a single one. But we have Mary, we have.
Oh Mary! This is heartbreaking on so many levels. I just want to come in and rescue your little self. I want to clothe you, and take your way and keep you safe from any other predators.
So sorry for the abuse you endured and yes, I pray these horrible years were all going through will be purifying for the church and this horrible rot of abuse will be exposed.
That is so tough. It's horrid for anyone to go through. Thank you for speaking about the re-story. I went with a dear friend to where you spoke in 2017. I know God uses you to highlight healing & attention to addressing exploitation. What gets me is those crying out for help (even when they don't fully understand the levels of ick in their environment) - those who try to tell someone & break the cycle - and human help doesn't arrive. I have been around unsafe people and got very mad at myself that I didn't see they were hurting people. A person I prayed with and met their child I later found out via the news was connected to their child's abuse & death. I think they were in an abusive relationship. I hope and pray the child had some joy in their life. It's just awful & should never happen. The bad stuff can impact generations.
I'm grieving with you, for me, and for the other victims who will never see a hero's rescue. Your voice is a powerful instrument for justice. Thank you for speaking for us all!
Mary, I am so deeply sorry. What a painful image to carry—and for all that you have endured. I don’t have pictures of my abuser; I don’t even know his name. He was a stranger welcomed into our home but not watched, and he stole my innocence when I was four. I remember cleaning myself up after the attempted rape of my small frame and walking out to find my mother reading a magazine. She never looked up. It was never acknowledged until years later, when I began the hard work of untangling it with a gifted counselor. Years of counseling and EMDR therapy have not erased the harm, and I will never see him face justice here on earth. For a long time I struggled to trust God because I didn’t feel protected. But as I faced the truth of my story, I began to see ways God had been near to me that I couldn’t recognize before. What was taken cannot be undone, yet I have entrusted justice to Him—and I am healing.
I don’t have answers for anyone else’s suffering, but I have found a place to set mine: in God’s hands. I still get angry, especially when I see others being harmed. And now I speak up. I report abuse. I help others find support and safety. If I see someone who feels unsafe—in church, in a store, anywhere—I make sure someone is aware. Silence once protected the wrong people; I refuse to let it do so again. In protecting others, I am reclaiming, piece by piece, what no one once did for me.
And I share this so you know you are not alone. Your pain matters. Your story matters. And healing, though slow and uneven, is possible.
I'm so sorry for your story. Heartbreaking.
❤️❤️❤️
Oh, Mary, how terrible to have experienced such abuse and neglect, especially at such a young age. My words feel empty, but I do grieve for you. May the Lord continue to use you in a way only someone who has suffered the way you have can. Only you can minister to that broken person who has suffered similarly, but not found the One who can heal and redeem, or the person who does know the Lord, but has not yet discovered the healing and restoring path. Hugs to you, dear soldier in Christ.
Thank you for your kind words and for prayer....
Thank you for sharing this, Mary. I’m so sorry that no one protected little you, and my heart is aching alongside of you and so many others who were harmed in this way for both justice and rescue ❤️🩹
Thank you for empathizing, Kati Lynn.
Oh my heart goes out to you. Such grievous sins against you, against God. I wish/pray for Nathan’s who can teach the hearts that justify the sin. But I wish also for the hearts like David’s who will listen and repent.
Yes, we need more Nathans.
I remember… the nudity that no one ever said was wrong. The perversion that was made acceptable. But somehow I knew not to bring this into the world… not one person stopped it, not a single one. But we have Mary, we have.
We have. And you are brave.
Oh Mary! This is heartbreaking on so many levels. I just want to come in and rescue your little self. I want to clothe you, and take your way and keep you safe from any other predators.
Thank you so much.
So sorry for the abuse you endured and yes, I pray these horrible years were all going through will be purifying for the church and this horrible rot of abuse will be exposed.
Amen, I agree with you, Kerry.
Here
That is so tough. It's horrid for anyone to go through. Thank you for speaking about the re-story. I went with a dear friend to where you spoke in 2017. I know God uses you to highlight healing & attention to addressing exploitation. What gets me is those crying out for help (even when they don't fully understand the levels of ick in their environment) - those who try to tell someone & break the cycle - and human help doesn't arrive. I have been around unsafe people and got very mad at myself that I didn't see they were hurting people. A person I prayed with and met their child I later found out via the news was connected to their child's abuse & death. I think they were in an abusive relationship. I hope and pray the child had some joy in their life. It's just awful & should never happen. The bad stuff can impact generations.
It's true about generations, which also makes me sad.
I'm grieving with you, for me, and for the other victims who will never see a hero's rescue. Your voice is a powerful instrument for justice. Thank you for speaking for us all!
Thank you, Ellen.
I’m so sorry Mary! 💔