While your intent is to describe celebrity-driven megachurches, this applies to the Southern Baptist Convention. Notice that Albert Mohler is trying to suppress all dissent within the SBC, and notice how people who disagree are described.
I wonder if these pastors know they are wolves? And if their behaviours are calculated and deliberate. It seems to me if they truly know God, they would be humbled when they read His word.
Mary, this is so good. especially the board. I think this might be a first indicator if you're church-shopping. If the board has little or no power, if they rubber-stamp everything the pastor wants, look out. Especially if you're going to get involved on staff or as a volunteer. No one will have your back. They will all stare blindly like deer in headlights when the abuse starts. You will have no one to turn to.
I might also add, uses shame, fear and intimidation to control staff and volunteers (and maybe everyone). I worked with a pastor who could not handle personnel matters privately. He needed an audience. So people were talked about behind their backs and then called out loudly in the presence of other staff and volunteers. It was very intimidating even though we all knew the game.
Gosh, your first three points hit quite close to home! I lived that, and number nine. I appreciate your humor; we gotta laugh, or we will cry. Another commenter said this, but the trademark after every single day made me chuckle out loud.
Whew. This did not read like satire to me because I lived versions of this in real time for years.
The “honor up, silence down” culture especially hit me because I experienced exactly that mentality inside leadership structures. Shame meetings. Public call-outs disguised as “discipling.” Constant comparing. Pressure to conform emotionally, spiritually, socially. Questioning leadership was often framed as rebellion, pride, lack of humility, or “having a bad heart.”
And the crazy part? It is still happening today.
What outsiders often do not understand is that these systems are not always obviously abusive at first. They are wrapped in spiritual language, community, mission, loyalty, family, sacrifice, “Kingdom work,” and being “sold out for God.” Meanwhile people are slowly being conditioned to distrust their own instincts while protecting the institution at all costs.
This line hit hard:
“People are much less likely to question a leader when the church is DYNAMIC, GROWING, and IMPORTANT.”
Exactly.
Big growth, emotional worship, charismatic leaders, conferences, titles, applause, and polished ministry branding can hide incredibly unhealthy dynamics underneath. Sometimes the very people preaching surrender are the least accountable people in the room.
And honestly, the comparing culture does enormous damage psychologically. Constantly measuring spirituality, sacrifice, attendance, dating relationships, emotional responses, loyalty, and “fruitfulness” creates anxiety, shame, fear, performance, and spiritual exhaustion.
Matthew 23 came to mind immediately:
“Whitewashed tombs.”
Beautiful image externally.
Rot internally.
And the saddest part is sincere people often leave feeling like they failed God, when in reality many were reacting normally to spiritually controlling systems.
Very validating article for those of us who have lived through these environments and finally learned the difference between genuine shepherding and institutional image management. 🤍💜
Yes. We escaped from a leader like this not long ago. Some of his behaviour was exposed after we left. But not all. Not sure most realise he’d created a cult!
It grieves me that your life experiences have provided you the "education" to write this article. Thank you for being open with your painful past so that others might fare better.
There’s an easy rebuttal to #2 (look at all the people saved): Matthew 7:22-23, which comes right after the wolves in sheep’s clothing line, makes clear that some who do “mighty works” in Jesus’s name “never knew” him.
While your intent is to describe celebrity-driven megachurches, this applies to the Southern Baptist Convention. Notice that Albert Mohler is trying to suppress all dissent within the SBC, and notice how people who disagree are described.
Yes, same abusive system. Gah.
Thank you, again, for explaining the warning signs so well. The enemy is predictable and this is definitely his playbook exposed.
I wonder why so few seem to discern this?
I don’t understand either. Constantly praying for eyes to be opened.
It's sad - and 'itching ears' can prime us to overlook things. So important to know Scripture - it's our armor and alarm bell.
Yes, so true.
This!!! Amen! Amen!!
I wonder if these pastors know they are wolves? And if their behaviours are calculated and deliberate. It seems to me if they truly know God, they would be humbled when they read His word.
Yeah, I wonder that too. Are they personally deceived, or do they know exactly what they are doing?
Mary, this is so good. especially the board. I think this might be a first indicator if you're church-shopping. If the board has little or no power, if they rubber-stamp everything the pastor wants, look out. Especially if you're going to get involved on staff or as a volunteer. No one will have your back. They will all stare blindly like deer in headlights when the abuse starts. You will have no one to turn to.
I might also add, uses shame, fear and intimidation to control staff and volunteers (and maybe everyone). I worked with a pastor who could not handle personnel matters privately. He needed an audience. So people were talked about behind their backs and then called out loudly in the presence of other staff and volunteers. It was very intimidating even though we all knew the game.
Oh dear. That's awful.
I often feel like I’m hollering into the void as well! Thank you for this, very well written.
You are not alone.
Gosh, your first three points hit quite close to home! I lived that, and number nine. I appreciate your humor; we gotta laugh, or we will cry. Another commenter said this, but the trademark after every single day made me chuckle out loud.
We have to laugh; you're right. Glad it was helpful.
May your voice be heard among the masses.
Whew. This did not read like satire to me because I lived versions of this in real time for years.
The “honor up, silence down” culture especially hit me because I experienced exactly that mentality inside leadership structures. Shame meetings. Public call-outs disguised as “discipling.” Constant comparing. Pressure to conform emotionally, spiritually, socially. Questioning leadership was often framed as rebellion, pride, lack of humility, or “having a bad heart.”
And the crazy part? It is still happening today.
What outsiders often do not understand is that these systems are not always obviously abusive at first. They are wrapped in spiritual language, community, mission, loyalty, family, sacrifice, “Kingdom work,” and being “sold out for God.” Meanwhile people are slowly being conditioned to distrust their own instincts while protecting the institution at all costs.
This line hit hard:
“People are much less likely to question a leader when the church is DYNAMIC, GROWING, and IMPORTANT.”
Exactly.
Big growth, emotional worship, charismatic leaders, conferences, titles, applause, and polished ministry branding can hide incredibly unhealthy dynamics underneath. Sometimes the very people preaching surrender are the least accountable people in the room.
And honestly, the comparing culture does enormous damage psychologically. Constantly measuring spirituality, sacrifice, attendance, dating relationships, emotional responses, loyalty, and “fruitfulness” creates anxiety, shame, fear, performance, and spiritual exhaustion.
Matthew 23 came to mind immediately:
“Whitewashed tombs.”
Beautiful image externally.
Rot internally.
And the saddest part is sincere people often leave feeling like they failed God, when in reality many were reacting normally to spiritually controlling systems.
Very validating article for those of us who have lived through these environments and finally learned the difference between genuine shepherding and institutional image management. 🤍💜
So true about everything being wrapped in spiritual language. Which makes it hard to discern and recover from.
The trademark after EVERY SINGLE DAY is perfection.
LOL thanks.
Yes. We escaped from a leader like this not long ago. Some of his behaviour was exposed after we left. But not all. Not sure most realise he’d created a cult!
Oh the reckoning for that man!
Great satire! And really great article. You really paint an accurate reflection of a sickness in the evangelical space.
I'm so tired of the sickness.
Yeah, same. 🫶
It grieves me that your life experiences have provided you the "education" to write this article. Thank you for being open with your painful past so that others might fare better.
It's my hope to put to words that which is hard to fathom sometimes.
There’s an easy rebuttal to #2 (look at all the people saved): Matthew 7:22-23, which comes right after the wolves in sheep’s clothing line, makes clear that some who do “mighty works” in Jesus’s name “never knew” him.
There's a subtle difference. It says GOD never knew them. They never allowed themselves to be known by him. :)
My person who abused me did these things in the context of a school system. He was the chief administrator.
There must be a playbook out there for people like this!
make people feel crazy for making the obvious apparent and use Gods name when you do it - (You know Im your fan)
Yeah, I've certainly seen that.