Life, lately

I would surely appreciate your prayers.

Here’s a little snapshot of life, lately to bring you up to speed.

I’ve been battling a pretty debilitating neck, shoulder issue for three months now. I’ve jumped through all the hoops (medicine, PT, massage, prayer, needles, doctor visits, diagnostic tools) but there seems to be no reason and no alleviation. Prayers appreciated that I’ll be better at managing my pain, especially as I fly overseas this week to teach for two weeks in August. My hunch is that this injury began with stress (severe muscle spasms) that has been unrelenting for the past quarter. I’m weary.

I’m walking through a season of dismantling, not of my faith, but of what I thought was true about myself, particularly in a relationship. It’s complicated and feels a lot like spiritual warfare. I have asked for prayer a lot in this season, and my dear friends have been amazing and consistent to check in on me. Suffice to say this battle has made me ask questions like, “Should I continue in ministry?” and “How can I possibly make it through this season with joy? Or is that even possible, given the situation?”

Sorry to be a bit vague, but the situation calls for it.

I have felt distant from Jesus, not because he is far, but because I’m overwhelmed and feeling numbed. Have you ever been there? I think when we encounter a piling on of pain and spiritual attack, we tend to retreat inside ourselves, trying desperately to find quiet. I am happy to report that I finally cried last week, something necessary. I had been a good little soldier up to that point, but the release felt helpful.

I have handed in a big, long book, and I’m grateful to say my editor likes it. So much relief there. I’m currently writing a novel set in Washington state and Normandy, France. When I’m in Normandy, I’ll be able to do on site research. I’m looking forward to that.

Our home’s downstairs has undergone a fairly economical but lovely re-do. We have new French herringbone floors, new wall color, and tall baseboards. It has helped my mood tremendously, particularly in this season of cocooning.

I am deeply grateful for my church and the friends we’ve made there. It has truly shored me up during this part of my journey. Although I am hurting, I simultaneously feel giddy elation over my dear, dear friends.