This deeply resonated with me. Especially the difference between shepherds and CEOs. Whew.
A real shepherd knows the sheep. Protects the vulnerable. Searches for the wounded. A CEO protects the institution, the brand, the image, the metrics, the stage.
And honestly, Ezekiel 34 is one of the most validating passages for people who have been spiritually harmed because God Himself acknowledges the abuse. He sees the harshness, the self-feeding, the neglect, the exploitation, the scattering of wounded people.
This line especially hit me:
“You have ruled them with harshness and cruelty.”
Some people hear “church hurt” and immediately minimize it, but scripture itself speaks strongly against abusive shepherding.
I also appreciated your point about how modern church culture often rewards the exact opposite of biblical leadership. Celebrity. Power. Aggression. Shock rhetoric. Performance. Influence. Meanwhile gentleness, humility, repentance, and quiet faithfulness are often overlooked because they do not “trend.”
And this:
“Does my pastor remind me of the ways of Jesus?”
That is probably one of the simplest and most important questions we can ask.
Not:
Are they charismatic?
Are they famous?
Are they bold?
Are they growing a platform?
Are they impressive?
But:
Do they resemble Christ?
I’m also genuinely glad you and Patrick found healing and safe shepherding again. After spiritual harm, many people never trust church environments again, so hearing restoration instead of bitterness was honestly beautiful.
“The Lord is my shepherd…” hits differently after surviving counterfeit ones.
I've been in that place as well. The bully pulpit, people who leave are treated like they have leprosy, trying to make a name and all the rest! God graciously led us out and we have landed in a church that truly honors God's Word and loves God's people. But, when you've been through this kind of "abuse", it's really hard to trust the church. I am so grateful we left unscathed because so many I know did not. They have lost marriages, their children were deeply wounded, and on and on it goes. Thank you for sharing this -- it's so necessary!
Oh my this hit so true as I am experiencing this now and have left my church and I am seeing others including pastors leave due to spiritual abuse thank you for this and God bless.
I once met a big "church" that read from the Song of Solomon. Out of 66 books of the cannonised Bible they choose that. So one can assume it was deliberate choice. The question then is why?
This deeply resonated with me. Especially the difference between shepherds and CEOs. Whew.
A real shepherd knows the sheep. Protects the vulnerable. Searches for the wounded. A CEO protects the institution, the brand, the image, the metrics, the stage.
And honestly, Ezekiel 34 is one of the most validating passages for people who have been spiritually harmed because God Himself acknowledges the abuse. He sees the harshness, the self-feeding, the neglect, the exploitation, the scattering of wounded people.
This line especially hit me:
“You have ruled them with harshness and cruelty.”
Some people hear “church hurt” and immediately minimize it, but scripture itself speaks strongly against abusive shepherding.
I also appreciated your point about how modern church culture often rewards the exact opposite of biblical leadership. Celebrity. Power. Aggression. Shock rhetoric. Performance. Influence. Meanwhile gentleness, humility, repentance, and quiet faithfulness are often overlooked because they do not “trend.”
And this:
“Does my pastor remind me of the ways of Jesus?”
That is probably one of the simplest and most important questions we can ask.
Not:
Are they charismatic?
Are they famous?
Are they bold?
Are they growing a platform?
Are they impressive?
But:
Do they resemble Christ?
I’m also genuinely glad you and Patrick found healing and safe shepherding again. After spiritual harm, many people never trust church environments again, so hearing restoration instead of bitterness was honestly beautiful.
“The Lord is my shepherd…” hits differently after surviving counterfeit ones.
This is its own beautiful post!
Wonderful article and so on point. I’m so glad you’re in a place where you’re being nurtured.
amen, me too.
I've been in that place as well. The bully pulpit, people who leave are treated like they have leprosy, trying to make a name and all the rest! God graciously led us out and we have landed in a church that truly honors God's Word and loves God's people. But, when you've been through this kind of "abuse", it's really hard to trust the church. I am so grateful we left unscathed because so many I know did not. They have lost marriages, their children were deeply wounded, and on and on it goes. Thank you for sharing this -- it's so necessary!
I'm sorry you went through it, and I'm also glad you found a new place.
Thank you! We are also so grateful for God He led us out! 😊
same
Oh my this hit so true as I am experiencing this now and have left my church and I am seeing others including pastors leave due to spiritual abuse thank you for this and God bless.
So sorry! So very hard.
Great article
This describes the person who abused me so accurately. Thanks for sharing. It brings comfort to read it in light of scripture.
Glad it brought clarification
This is good!
This really resonates with my experience. Thank you!
You’re so welcome.
I once met a big "church" that read from the Song of Solomon. Out of 66 books of the cannonised Bible they choose that. So one can assume it was deliberate choice. The question then is why?
Mary, this is so good! So rich with Biblical truth. Thank you for sharing this. Blessings to you, friend.
Blessings right back!
I'm so encouraged for you that your pastor preached this.
I have been reading John 10 this week and I agree with you.